“Tinderstruck”

Dear Readers and Followers,

Hahaha, why am I starting such a topic with a serious introduction? I have no idea. Yes! I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while now. I even wanted to make a video about it. But since I haven’t managed to step into the YouTube world just yet, here I am, writing about it! And the topic is Tinder!

I’ve had a Tinder account for a while now. I’ve made some interesting observations and met some great people. And I’m not afraid to admit it! Because, like any other app, Tinder is what you make of it. You can shape it in whatever direction you want.

So, if you can set aside your prejudices for a few minutes, let’s begin. Even if you don’t, I’ll start anyway… whatever, doesn’t matter to me.

I first downloaded Tinder four years ago, much like many women in Türkiye, “unknowingly” and without my consent. Suddenly, there it was, on my phone!

I hope those of you using Tinder in Türkiye understand what I mean. Because Tinder is often presented as if it magically appeared on your phone from nowhere. No one admits to downloading it willingly.

The reason and the societal view are obvious: “Ew, it’s a sex app! Run!” But we’ll get to that later.

Jokes aside, I truly became aware of Tinder when I lived in Barcelona four years ago. Here’s what happened: I had just moved to Barcelona and was trying to learn Spanish. I signed up for a language course. My class consisted of about 9 people.

Four of them were Chinese, and the rest were over 40, from various countries. I was practically friendless during the first week. I was already stressed out after being scammed by the Italian rental mafia, barely finding a new and real apartment, and then finding myself in a class like this made me feel even lonelier.

It wasn’t easy for me to connect with some of my classmates due to different cultural habits, which made the first few weeks quite tough. Over time, I’ve learned to better navigate such differences, but at that moment, it was challenging.

Anyway, back to the story. One day, I came home and told my housemate about the situation. She said, “Oh, you’re looking for friends? Give me your phone. You can find friends through this app.”

And that’s how Tinder ended up on my phone. With great hope, I started swiping left and right. And boom! A few hours later, I had my first meetup.

I met a girl named Laura, who lived on the other side of Joanic metro station. Since I lived on the opposite side, we quickly met up. We chatted for a bit, and eventually, Laura kindly explained that Tinder is generally used to find romantic partners.

After getting over the initial shock, I started thinking back to all the profiles I’d seen, wondering why so many people were shirtless or showing off their bodies. Naively, I thought, “Maybe it’s a cultural thing…”

At the time, I was 24, and looking back now, I still don’t know how I got to that age without knowing what Tinder was really for. Apparently, it had a clear purpose.

Laura had both men and women selected as her preferences, which is why we matched. She realized I didn’t know what Tinder was really about and decided to meet up with me to give me some insight into the app and also to hang out since she was new to the city too.

Interestingly, unlike in Türkiye, people abroad often use Tinder to find accommodation or make friends. People there don’t have the same stigma around it and aren’t as desperate when it comes to using such apps.

Laura herself wasn’t bisexual, but she said she had met a lot of people on Tinder just to show them around Barcelona and have a good time. I didn’t really care about her orientation, but I’m mentioning it here in case anyone is curious.

Later on, I ended up changing classes and made some really sweet friends, so I deleted Tinder and downloaded Meet Up!, which is more focused on events and social gatherings. Meet Up! is based on invites to events and parties, and you can meet new people in a relaxed environment. I highly recommend it if you’re struggling to make friends while abroad. I last used it in Rome, where over 100 people showed up, and it was a blast. Unfortunately, it’s not very active in Türkiye.

Fast forward to the present: In Türkiye, we all know it’s pretty difficult to just approach someone out of the blue. Things like buying someone a drink and asking for their number happen only in Netflix shows or American TV dramas. In reality, you need a better and real reason.

Both men and women are too afraid to strike up a conversation. Men worry about being seen as creepy (and let’s be real, we do live in a country with high “creep potential”), and women are afraid of being labeled as “loose” or worse. And both groups are scared of being rejected. All of this brings us to Tinder.

Tinder makes it possible to communicate with people you wouldn’t normally approach in real life. For someone who starts work at 8 a.m. and finishes at 6 p.m., with little time to socialize outside of awkward work events, it’s a great alternative.

Of course, some people might use it for the opposite reason—they might be very social but want something more specific. Or maybe they just want to have some casual fun with someone new. Tinder is a simple, convenient app for all sorts of purposes.

Unfortunately, our “moral” society tends to look down on Tinder. Especially young women, who “accidentally” or “unknowingly” download the app (poor things…).

You can generally categorize people on Tinder as “high profile” or “low profile.”

For example, the “high profile” ones are the guys posing in front of Mercedes or BMWs, chest hair on display, and almost always blowing hookah smoke in their next picture, trying to look manly. :))))

Here are some of the most common types of guys I’ve come across:

1. The Fitness Buffs: Guys who share photos showing off their six-packs. “My body is amazing!”

2. The Cute Faces: They’ll pull all sorts of goofy faces, even duck faces, as long as you swipe right.

3. The Sunglasses Addicts: Every single photo has them wearing sunglasses. Why are you more confident in your shades than your actual eyes?

4. The Baby Holders: These guys either really love babies or are sending the message, “First time we have sex, I’ll get you pregnant.”

5. The Adventure Junkies: Often seen skydiving, hitchhiking, or “holding up” the Eiffel Tower or Pisa in their photos.

6. The Wedding Photos: Either they forgot to delete their profile after getting married, they’re looking for a third, or they’re openly cheating.

7. The Animal Lovers: Whether they’re posing with cute kittens or showing off their pitbulls, they’re trying to send a message.

8. The Yacht Dudes: They’re adjusting their cufflinks with a look like, “Did something just crawl up my sleeve?” These guys think they’re the kings of the world.

9. The No-Filter Selfie Guys: These are the guys who upload photos without caring about angles or lighting. It’s like they couldn’t care less about how they appear. They’re online, and that’s all that matters to them.

10. The Low-Resolution Shots: These are the blurry, close-up profiles.

11. The Blue-Eyed Guys: They’ll usually follow up with a brooding look, arm on their forehead, or chin resting on their hand, like they’re ready to break mirrors with their stare.

12. The Celebrity Impersonators: Nick Bateman, Jared Padalecki, Jason Statham—these are the most common fake profiles I’ve encountered.

13. The Hipster Guys: With square or round glasses, waxed hair, and a 3-day stubble. Sometimes, they wear beanies, usually seen at cafes, smoking, or petting a cat.

14. The Car Selfie Guys: Steering the wheel while making sure the car’s brand is in the shot. You know what they’re trying to say.

15. The Instagram Creeps: “I’m not trying to be a creep, I swear. I saw you on Tinder and just wanted to connect!” Ugh, spare me.

16. The Doctors: They’re always wearing a stethoscope or have at least one surgical photo.

17. The Pilots: Whether they’re in the cockpit or posing by the plane, they’re all about the uniform.

18. The Tiger Pic Guys: Please, look into the conditions these tigers are kept in. It breaks my heart…

19. The Normal Guys: No weird selfies, no flexing, and they’ve actually written something genuine about themselves. These guys are rare gems.

20. The Fishermen: These are the guys posing with a dead fish they’ve caught, almost always wearing mirrored sporty sunglasses. They’re typically Australian or American and seem to think this is their most attractive photo.

This list could go on forever, and of course, these are just my subjective, somewhat biased, and maybe even harsh observations. So please, take it all lightly and enjoy it for what it is.

Sorry, not sorry.

In the coming days, I’m considering making a fake profile with Jason Statham’s picture and looking at the types of female profiles that match these male stereotypes. After all, for every guy’s profile, there’s someone swiping right